Wednesday, 5 October 2011

When you forget this aspect of life

Once in a while I feel helplessly sick of medicine and the medical life. It's not the kind of feeling that makes me want to reconsider my chosen path (at least not seriously). It's more like, the feeling of loneliness, the feeling that no one understands you. You can still get by, but the flames that you thought would always be there to keep your strides spring, are gone. Which is odd, I know, because as a medical student doing clerkship, I'm surrounded by exactly the "right" people, the people who should share a lot of similar experiences and similar thoughts.

Truth is, there are times when I feel like everything is automated. People move like robots---efficient yet heartless---and they merge into the very walls of this big old hospital. Existing but not quite. In a field that deals with life, there is no life. In a field that deals with humans, there is no humanity. In a field that wants every sick person to be normal again, there is no normalcy. Thus, the loneliness. [and this emo thought]

And so in a day like these, it's a relief to be able to read about real people in medicine. That's why I subscribe to so many blogs by med students and doctors. They are essentially telling the same thing: Hey, we're in this together. We're gonna be fine. YOU are gonna be fine!

Also, the great thing about these bloggers is that, they are all so infectious in their zeal, their humor, their perspective. This is what I seldom get. Too many people whine and complain and cry over trivial stuff. Granted, some people may thrive on stressful atmosphere, but not me. I like eustress. But not distress. I get frustrated easily when surrounded by whiny stressed out folks (especially those who think that they need to broadcast their distress so that everyone will know about it, and consequently become distressed too).

Have you tried taking a break from yourself? Trust me, a few hours of that is worth it. It has helped me reduce unnecessary preoccupations, helping me to not take myself too seriously. Once in a while, just pause and step back and see the bigger picture. Get things into perspective, learn what it's really all about.



For all medical bloggers out there, keep blogging! You have no idea that even while blogging you can save someone from committing suicide, do you? (not that I have contemplated suicide myself)

2 comments:

  1. I love this! I've been thinking about it ever since I started medical school. I remember how my Pharmacology professor called doctor/medical student life to be the life that is not physiological LOL So I understand what you mean, and especially this: "In a field that deals with life, there is no life. In a field that deals with humans, there is no humanity."

    Also, I agree on the importance of bloggers. I find my greatest inspiration reading blogs of other medical students. By the way, can you suggest good medical student blog, it seems like all the people I started following has just graduated ;) Nevertheless, even if they live on the other side of the world, medical students problems, in its essence, are the same. We all go through the same things, worries and problems. But I think our "real life" environment is that we all think that we have to be always strong and confident and writing a blog gives us opportunity to vent and therefor show our true selves, I think.

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  2. Hi Audrey! I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way. So thanks for sharing my melancholy ;)

    Actually, you're following more med blogs than I am! I particularly enjoy "Med School and the Rest of It" and "AndroMEDa". If you want a med blog by non-westerner, try "Days in life of a Pakistani girl" (just click on the link on my MEDS sidebar). If you know any more blogs from the other parts of the world, do share! :)

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