Saturday, 14 September 2013

How I Measure Up Against the Proverbs 31 Woman


A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
—Proverbs 31:10-11
Above is the opening verse for the passage famous for describing the ideal, Biblical wife, a.k.a. the Proverbs 31 Woman. Well, what Christian woman doesn't want to be of noble character, worth far more than rubies, and have her husband's full confidence in her, right?

So I'm taking up this challenge to see if I'm anywhere near the characteristics of the Proverbs 31 Woman and if I will make a Biblical wifey. Let's see... :

1) "She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants."
Ah this is a good beginning. I do [sometimes] wake up before my dog while it's still dark, although I do it mostly when I'm on duty, so instead of providing food for the family (still mum and dad for now), I usually grab the nearest bread and tea and run to the car. But the waking up early part... not promising anything, but I can get by with that. And with servants—plural—oh yes, I can manage everything. Moving on.

2) "She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers."
I know wool and spindles, but what is flax and a distaff?? I spin words and sometimes empty syringes but certainly not threads. But don't worry, Future Hubby, I can sew buttons.

3) "She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard."
Oh the ideal lady is a businesswoman! *sigh* My dad is a businessman but unfortunately I don't seem to inherit his talent. I'm terrible at making a poker face and I have to make a real effort at haggling, because I always feel guilty whenever I have to ask for a lower price. And a vineyard? My goodness. Can't I just work as a secretary for someone who owns a vineyard?

4) "She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks."
I have strong arms thanks to years of carrying textbooks, doing CPR, and lifting up my overweight pooch, so I think I can win this point.

5) "She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night."
My room is known for being perpetually illuminated by the serene light of my laptop, so yes, you can say that "my lamp does not go out at night". These sturdy fingers can type a lengthy essay blog post and produce award-winning theological comments on Facebook that dispel a heresy or two; I just hope that this "trading" sees some profits sooner or later.

6) "She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet."
NO, I don't make coverings for my bed, sorry Future Hubby. But I promise I'll see to it that you and the kids are always clothed, just maybe not in purple and scarlet. I'm sure I can find some fancier clothes at the store.

7) "She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes."
Why does it have to be all about garments, textiles, and clothing?? Fine, I can at least start cross-stitching again and sell my works. I dabbled in it once when I was in junior high and I did like it (got a good grade for it too!), but I haven't cross-stitched again for a long time. Well if it can buy extra Tasty Bones for Timmy, then why not?

8) "She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness."
My own household currently consists of me alone, so I can say for sure that I seldom eat the bread of idleness—or any other bread, for that matter—because I like to keep myself busy. Even if I appear idle, my mind is usually very active; maybe I'm imagining life after internship, thinking hard about my next blog post, or simply contemplating leaves. I'm a Dominican after all.

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So here it is: I'm pretty much a major Proverbs 31 failure. Based on this short analysis, looks like my future hubby and children are not going to "arise and call me blessed"; my husband, especially, isn't going to have people bowing down to him at the city gate (waaaahh so sorry!). As for me, I'm going to climb up to bed and sob and take comfort in the fact that I can "laugh at the days to come" (and make memes about the days to come), "speak with wisdom", and have "faithful instructions" in my tongue.

What about you, my lady readers? Are you the perfect Proverbs 31 woman?

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